Iain Boyle
May 2026
Personal Law
When a relationship ends, ensuring your children's well-being and happiness is always your top priority. However, deciding where your children will live and how they will maintain a relationship with both parents can be one of the most emotionally challenging parts of a separation.
The law in England focuses firmly on the child's right to a meaningful relationship with both parents, rather than the "rights" of the parents themselves.
This guide outlines the options available to help you reach a stable, workable agreement during this emotional period of change. Our Family Law solicitors are here to provide the reliable guidance needed to help you focus on a stable future for your family.
Before looking at living arrangements, it is important to understand Parental Responsibility. This is the legal term for the rights, duties and responsibilities that a parent has in relation to their children, such as deciding on their education, medical treatment and religious upbringing.
Mothers automatically have Parental Responsibility from birth. Fathers have automatic Parental Responsibility if:
They were married to or in a civil partnership with the mother at the time of birth.
They are named on the birth certificate (for births registered after December 2003).
If you are unsure of your legal status, our Family Law solicitors can advise you on your options, including applying to the court for parental responsibility if necessary.
It is beneficial for all involved, particularly the children, when parents can reach an agreement between themselves. The court expects parents, wherever possible, to reach a mutual agreement on child arrangements. This is often called a parenting plan.
An informal agreement or parenting plan can cover:
Where the children will live on a day-to-day basis.
How much time they will spend with the non-resident parent during the week, on weekends and during school holidays.
How special occasions like birthdays and Christmas will be shared.
How handovers and communication will be handled most effectively.
While an informal agreement is flexible and keeps control in your hands, it is not legally binding. If you want more stability, you can make an agreed plan permanent and legally enforceable. Your family law solicitors can help you turn it into a Consent Order for a judge to approve.
If direct discussions with your former partner prove difficult, the next step is usually family mediation. In fact, before you can ask a court to intervene, you are legally required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to see if court can be avoided.
During mediation, an independent third party helps you both discuss your concerns and find common ground. Mediation is often much faster, less expensive, and less stressful for the children involved than entering into a contested court process.
If you are unable to make mediation work or this option is unsafe in your circumstances, you can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order. This is a formal legal order that replaces the old concepts of "custody" and "access."
The court can determine:
Who the child lives with (and whether this is a shared living arrangement).
Who the child spends time with or otherwise has contact with, including phone calls or video messages.
These are known as 'Live with' and 'Spend time with' Child arrangements orders
The child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration. The court applies the "Welfare Checklist" under the Children Act 1989 when making decisions.
The court will look closely at:
The wishes and feelings of the child, whilst also considering the child's age and level of understanding.
The child's physical, emotional and educational needs.
What effect any change of circumstances may have on the child.
Any risk of harm, abuse, or neglect.
How capable each parent is of meeting the child's needs.
At the outset, the court process usually involves an independent organisation called CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service), which conducts initial safeguarding checks to identify the issues in the case and any safeguarding risks that may be present. In some cases, they may be asked to write a report for the judge, which will involve them speaking to both parents and possibly the children.
Every family is unique, and in disputes involving children, it is important to strike a balance between sound legal protection and tactful negotiation. Receiving inaccurate advice or escalating conflicts can cause unnecessary distress to your children.
Our family law solicitors can support you by:
Helping you draft a clear, sustainable parenting plan.
Advising you through the mediation and MIAM process.
Preparing an application for a Child Arrangements Order or Parental Responsibility Order if court becomes necessary.
Advocating for your child's best interests at every stage.
Establishing a formal routine for your children provides them with the stability they need during a breakup. Whether you need help formalising a mutual agreement or need representation in a contested court matter, our dedicated family law team is here to support you.
Contact our Family Law solicitors today to speak with an expert about protecting your children's future and achieving a peaceful resolution.
